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Cellardoor_27
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Name: Amber
Birthday: 9/10/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: I like long walks on the beach and watching sunsets and shopping and...oh wait, no I don't. Well, I guess I kind of do, but I like other things more. Anyway
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/30/2004
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| Dear all,
I seem to have flushed my cell down the toilet.
You don't need to know the graphic details except:
1. The hole at the bottom of the toilet is large enough to suck down an entire phone--in case you've ever wondered....
2. Consider the aforementioned hole as a point of no return. Once it's down, it's down. So says my plumber.
3. Verizon cannot perform technological CPR on a body that's still washed out at sea, meaning that, for the time being, my contact list is dead.
4. This kind of thing happens far more frequently than you'd think. (At least, this is what I'm telling myself). In fact, I'd go so far as to say that one out of every four "lost my cell phone" facebook notes are caused by greedy porcelain mouths. Maybe.
If you are one of the few that aren't judging me, please send me a message or email with your phone number.
Most sincerely,
(and a bit abashedly)
Amber Tink
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| The average American uses 100 to 176 gallons of water at home each day.
I, on the other hand, use about 10-15. (<---a shot in the dark.)
While I could use that approximation to flaunt my excellent water conservation skills, I'm just going to be honest with you: I'm a dirty scoundrel with a poor definition of good hygiene. To me, good hygiene=not smelling rank. But even I have somewhat of a routine for keeping the gnats away.
Today, in one of those rare instances under the nozzle, I questioned that routine. It started off as an innocent question: Why do we always use shampoo before conditioner? What is the point? And why do we need to, even? Before I knew it, I was whisked down a lane where every gellish product and hygienic habit was subjected to a mini-existential crisis.
And then I did a bit of research. I don't know if it's all correct, but it's something to think about, I suppose.
Shall we walk through a typical routine?
1. Take daily shower.
-Excessive washing can remove the skin's natural layer of fat, which dries it out in the winter and can even cause eczema. Hot water is a bigger threat than cold.
-Showering with hot water produces water vapors. Water vapors contain manganese. High levels of manganese are toxic, and prolonged exposure can cause permanent nervous system damage.
-Keeping germs away by daily washes is great, but in children, this can make the immune system a bit premature so that they develop allergies later in life.
2. Use shampoo and conditioner. In that order.
-I still haven't figured out the mystery of the order. I suppose it's something to do with the fact that conditioner didn't come along until 1900, whereas shampoo's been around since the 1700's.
-The sebaceous glands on your scalp adapt to your showering habits. Shampooing strips your skin of its natural oils, so when you shower a lot, your glands feel the need to overproduce--making your hair get oilier faster.
3. Shave the 'pits and legs (men are exempt): Non-head hair is baffling. It doesn't shed regularly, it grows faster than Narnia, it's brittle, it doesn't seem to have a point....or does it?
-Armpit hair wicks away moisture from the skin so that bacteria can't grow and produce odors. By shaving, you're getting rid of that odor/bacteria safeguard.
-In fact, shaving can actually create a funkier funk because the pH of soap + moisture that is not removed by pit hair + warm environment (an active pit) = perfect breeding grounds for bacteria.
-Ingrown hairs...yick!
4. Speaking of that area--it's deodorant time!
-It has been said that deodorant causes breast cancer. I think that's likely to be a falsehood.
-Aluminum is present in most deodorants. I'm not sure what that means, except that people with Alzheimer's have high levels of aluminum--but I'm not going to assume a correlation there.
-Alcohol is also present. It kills bacteria, but also increases sweating.
-Armpits give a lot of stink, but they're also takers. They're thin and absorb whatever you put on them. So all those antibacterial toxins in deodorant have quick passage into your body.
-Deodorant can mingle with sweat and cause yellow sweat stains
5. Lotion
-Everyone seems to like lotion. I couldn't find anything bad, but if I do, I'll be sure to let you know.
6. Q-tips
-It's taken me 23 years to figure out what the 'q' stands for. I'm ashamed.
-Q-tipping is usually the best part of my day. Now you know.
-It's bad. So says the American Academy of Otolaryngology. Cheap thrill, but potentially deafening. I probably won't give it up. Not without a fight, anyway. The basic gist of it is that your ear needs the wax to clean and moisturize itself from the inside out. Wax migrates from the eardrum to the outside of the ear. By 'Tipping, you remove the moisture and also push the wax further in.
Well, that's it for now. Moral of the story? We put a lot of stuff on/in our bodies, and I'm sure they do some good things, and I'm sure they do some bad things. Welcome to life!
Many props to Wikipedia, Pigpen, and hippies for my info. | | |
| Have you ever played the six-degrees of separation? The basic gist is this: any person is six relationships away from knowing everyone on this planet. I'm surprised facebook hasn't created a "six-degrees" application where you enter in the name of any person in the world (who has a facebook) and then have facebook trace the six relational steps it would take you to get to know that person*. In many religious circles (yes, Nazarenes... you ESPECIALLY), the degrees are considerably less, sometimes even going into the negatives, depending on the denomination or faith. A Calvinist negative degree means that the relationship was already known before time began. A Hindu negative degree can be measured by how many lives ago you knew the person. A follower of Spinoza scoffs at degrees, stating that we're all extensions of the same source, so there's no separation.
I made most of that up...please don't repeat it as fact 
I've always wondered how the degrees stand up when we're not just dealing with our breathing population. That's right, what do the six-foot-unders have to say about our relationships? Well, it seems like as far as relationships go, the cords aren't cut even when the oxygen supply is.
I've got this morbid habit of spending time in cemeteries. I used to do it more frequently, but now that I'm dating someone, I don't have to spend all my time around dead people anymore. When I do it, it's not to get in touch with the creepy side within, as I'm not particularly entertained by death and the means of getting there. I mean, vampires are always intriguing (many thanks to Dracula, the Twilight series, and Buffy for keeping decades of individuals in rapt attention where our fanged friends are concerned) and I suppose there's some kind of thrill to be had by imagining an appendage or two bursting through six feet of rock, dirt and casket with Stretch Armstrong-like capabilities...but that's not where the fascination stems from. It's the six-degrees. Only I think it's more like six-degrees of impact rather than separation.
When I was in New Haven (a small town whose claims to fame are frisbees and Yale University), I spent a considerable amount of time strolling through the Grove Street Cemetery. There seemed to be thousands of tombstones spanning the property and dating back even to the 18th century. As I was surrounded by all of these lives that once walked, I was struck by the realization that at least one of them must have had some impact (or was going to have some impact) on the way that I am today. Some ol' chap (or chappette, as the case may be) out there in the sea of graveyards had a family, or affected a family, that was only degrees away from me. And with such proximity, there must be some effect, right? Well, it makes sense, but it's hard to say whether that's fact or fiction. All I know is that it made me cherish each tombstone that I walked by because any of the residents below COULD HAVE made me who I am. Or will be. Or brought about my being, period.
I once told my good friend (and incidentally, boyfriend), Ben about this while I dragged him through some cemetery in Mansfield. I told him we should see if we could find connections between ourselves and the deceased. We didn't follow-through, but we appreciated the mystery of interactions that were--and continue to be-- beyond our knowledge.
Today, I began to see some of the evidence of these interactions. Ben found out that one of his great (great great?) grandfathers was Ezra Stiles. Stiles was apparently President of Yale University for the latter part of the 18th century, and was buried in the Grove Street Cemetery. It's very likely that I gave him two seconds of thought while passing his stone.
But in case I didn't: Mr. Stiles, a girl in the 21st tips her hat to you, and wants you to know that x degrees later, you're still changing lives.
What a fun world :)
*Facebook has probably already come up with this idea. I have a habit of thinking I've got some revolutionary thoughts and ideas, only to find out that they've already been done. More on this later. **Guh. http://www.new.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=4616854023 | | |
| Every so often, I feel like this body o' mine needs a bit of a checkup. But since I can't spend a small fortune on dentists, dermatologists, diabetologists, endocrinologists, hypnotherapists, gastroenterologists, immunos, laryngos, oncos, optos, gynos, pyros...(...the scroll would unfurl endlessly as if it were written by a scribe on speed, so I'm going to cut it here) ....basically, I'm going to just putz around each of these 40 million offices with a cardboard sign that says, "Will work for diagnosis," or "Will donate spleen for colonoscopy," or "My heart is bigger than yours. Don't believe me? Check for yourself."
....
Okay, so I probably won't do that, but I've got a Plan B.
In Plan B, I am empowered beyond my cardboard carrying capabilities. In Plan B, I don't even have to move. In Plan B, I AM my own doctor!! MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!
*taps fingers together in a mildly sinister manner*
Plan B, my friends, is WebMD.Com. This site is like Disney Land for hypochondriacs. They just get in there and ride all day on self analysis and prognosis until they make themselves vomit. And I am completely on board. I can hardly type fast enough.
So let's see.
Sex: Female
Age: 18-24
Zip code: Yes, I have one
Email: Yes, I have this, as well
**Submit** aaaaand! Ahah! A body! Well, let's start with the eyes.
Symptom: Blank Stare.
Diagnosis: Epilepsy.
I knew it.
Okay. Next. The head.
Symptom: Craving to eat ice, dirt or paper. That's me. I'd munch on ice all day if I had the chance.
Diagnosis: Anemia, iron deficiency.
This is so good. Okay, I wonder what maladies my uterus will bring!
Symptom: Bleeding
Diagnosis: Trauma or injury.
Hmmm...good point. I don't remember any injuries....but okay. Moving out to the skin. Hey, it's the largest organ in the body. There's gotta be something wrong with it, yes? Yes.
Symptom: Flaking skin. Little rebels fleeing my body because I made them slave in the hot sun at Hilton Head.
Diagnosis: Psoriasis.
Stupid psoriatic skin. That's not threatening at all. Let's check out my toes.
Symptoms: Black coloured (I painted them, but it doesn't specify, so we'll just see what's wrong)
Diagnosis: !!! If you have new black coloured toes, please seek propmt (yes, they spelled it propmt) medical attention.
So there you have it. Five searches later, I'm on the threshold of death.
Many thanks to webmd. What a good ride.
*vomits*
:)
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| Things were looking grim today at church as we flipped through the first SIX chapters of the ever invigorating book, Deuteronomy. And what was the conclusion 219 long-winded verses later? "Love the LORD your God."
Elementary, my dear Watson. Quite elementary. I'm sure it's good every now and then to have a little milk to wash down some solid concepts, but too much milk in one day causes the runs. And I don't need more spiritual crap. Anyway, my analytical mind went nuts in church today. Here's how the dialogue in my head went throughout the service based on information I heard:
"Love the LORD your God," said the Church.
"But why?" questioned I.
"Because He brought the Israelites out of Egypt," stated the Church.
"But I am not an Israelite... I'm an American..."
"Yes, well, He brought you out of Egypt, too," was the matter-of-fact response.
"But...I liked Egypt. It was a good time...." I stammered.
"You know, that's what the Israelites concluded, too. They chose the wilderness over God's Promised Land. Are you choosing the wilderness?"
"What? No...wait...what? I'm not in a desert, if that's what you mean. I'm in a very lush Indiana. But not lush in the sense of being a drunkard."
"Thou shalt not drink."
And so went the irrelevant.
I eventually left during the service to count how many Christian bumper stickers there were in the parking lot. I was surprised to find that in a parking lot of more than 200 cars, there was only one car with the metal fishy. The ICHTHUS, if you will. Perhaps people caught on to the fact that we are not a persecuted church (too much, anyway) and that our cars are not facilities for covert Christian meetings. Or maybe we just got tired of the Darwin fishes being cooler than ours with their, "My fish is smarter than yours" and "My fish has legs. Yours is cross-eyed."
Anyway, it was a good break for me. And when I came back, someone announced that there would be a potluck celebrating a couple going to Ukraine. This made everything better. God is so much bigger than music and Deuteronomy 6 if you know what He's doing around the world right now and not just what He did 5 bajillion years ago. It kind of ties the bits of His nature we can recognize together. I could tell you a thousand different ways that He is moving in third world countries, in China, in the Middle East....Heck, we even set aside whole sermons to let missionaries on furlough update us on what's going on in their area. People are dying for their faith, moving mountains for their faith, opposing the norm with their faith...and so how in the world did the States get left out of this exciting equation?
Well, we didn't. We're right up there moving and shaking with the best of them. Unfortunately, I've not heard a sermon in years that brings someone from a local ministry in and allows them a whopping 45 minutes to tell about God's movements in the community. I've not heard how people are stepping up to answer problems that different states might be encountering. What have I heard?
I've heard Joel Osteen telling me how to be a better me. I hear John Hagee talking about God's punishment on the harlot, New Orleans. I hear and see LaHaye and J. Jenk. make a game of the rapture, where the deliniation becomes more defined between the "us" and "them...so much so that it becomes ok to kill "them" in said game. I hear the Westboro Baptist Church claiming loudly that "God hates fags/America." I hear streetside preachers in cities claiming that we are all heathens doomed to hell and that "Jesus Christ hath never told a woman to preach the gospel. She has her own job cut out for her to do so. Birth children into the world" (--words taken from a streetside preacher I had the pleasure of running into in Chicago). I hear of ministers soliciting minors and Christian Universities misdirecting funds for personal use.
Is this what you hear? And where's the other side to it?
Is it any wonder that overseas missions are so appealing? It's a chance to be a part of a fresh movement that we hear so many positive things about. It would be so much more exciting to be part of a persecuted church than a church that has the freedom to make of fool of itself.
I have to keep reminding myself that there are so many good things and good programs that the Church is doing here. It's just a much quieter voice than the bombastic individuals that frequently represent us. I wish we could just communicate ourselves with ourselves to keep the excitement alive within Western Christianity.
Missionaries have an outline for how they present what's going on overseas. It goes like this:
1. This is who we are and this is how we ended up doing what we're doing
2. This is where we are going. Here are problems and needs that are there. This is what the Church looks like. This is how it is responding to those needs.
3. Here's how you can help.
Rather than spending an entire sermon mulling over the very deep theologies of Deut. 6 and loving God, it would be so nice if we could just tie it in to practical ministries. For instance:
1. My name is Buffs McGee. I am a personal training who feels that obesity is a problem in the States.
2. In my community, I realize that a lot of people are unhealthy because of this. It is costing our economy 'X' amount of dollars. It is hurting lifestyles and potential. Therefore, I am offering free exercise sessions once a week at the church building. We also offer day care so that busy parents can bring their kids. Through this, we have helped X amount of people reach their desired weight and established good relationships with these folk.
3. If you'd like to be an instructor/prayer warrior/financial supporter, contact me.
Or:
1. My name is Jose English. I teach English as a second language.
2. I live in an area where there are a lot of Mexican immigrants. I'm not sure if they are illegal or not, but a way that we can reach out in love to them as people is to offer them language classes.
3. Same as above.
Wouldn't that be cool? Doesn't it seem a LOT more relevant to our circumstances than this intangible idea of just loving, trusting, obeying? Doesn't it show that in current practice? I dunno. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places to hear these exciting things...or maybe they just aren't being publicized as much as missionary activity is.
So if you have a story--something cool that's going on in your area--refresh me. Please share! :)
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